How To Deal With Loneliness ► Explained With Dark Souls

You ever feel really lonely? Nobody’s texting your phone. Nobody wants to have lunch with you. You just want someone to be there, but it feels like no one wants to even talk to you. You might even actually have a lot of people in your life. So, technically, you shouldn’t be feeling lonely. You’re not alone, but you still feel lonely. >> tonight, bro. We getting hoes, bro. >> I used to feel unlovable. I didn’t even like being alone with myself. I just

Wish that there was someone there that I could share my feelings with. But then I played the game Dark Souls and it made me realize something. If you chase butterflies, they’ll just fly away. But if instead you build a beautiful garden, then they’ll come to you. And even if no butterflies come, then you still have your beautiful garden. It doesn’t matter if you’re looking for a girlfriend or a boyfriend or even just a normal friend in your life. I’m going to

Show you how to deal with loneliness and I’m going to explain it with the game Dark Souls. I’ve heard a lot of people say that when they play Dark Souls, they really enjoy gathering all the friendly NPCs at Firelink Shrine because it feels so cozy and like all the friends are here. It feels nice. Some of the NPCs are super nice, some of them are not so nice, and some should just get the hell out of here. I’m looking at you,

Lawrick. But how many times have you felt like there are a lot of people around me, but I still feel lonely? Regardless of our relationship with them and actually liking the people that stay at the shrine, we just like seeing them all together until something terrible happens like LRI killing the firekeeper. Then we get to know the true value of seeking people that we actually get along with. We realize that we actually don’t want to make just

Everyone part of our tribe, no matter how cozy it looks on the surface. We actually would rather have less people there, but they’re real friends. We don’t really want them to be there if they’re just going to cause and sabotage us. And that means that sometimes Firelink Shrine is kind of empty. And that’s fine. I know that you might feel a little conflicted because at the same time, you know that yeah, good things in life take time and I

Should be patient so that the right people come into my life. But at the same time, you’re like, well, why can’t they just come into my life already? Why are they taking so long? I want them in my life now. I’ve been waiting enough already. Well, sometimes we need to get up and go out into the world and actually find those gems of people. And that’s when the actual self-improvement starts to show up, both in Dark Souls

And in real life. Because there are two things that need to happen in order to find the characters we love in Dark Souls. The first thing is that we actually need to go out on our own and be focused on our own journey. Maybe we would still be able to find those good friends out in the world if we went to look in the places that we thought they would be. But maybe, just maybe, to find

The best compatibility with someone, you don’t take a different path and go look for people who are not on the same path as you. You follow your own path. You do the things that you want to do, achieve the things that you want to achieve. And somewhere along your destined path, there you find people like Solair, Siem, Lorenteius. You didn’t try to emulate someone else’s path. You followed your own and there you found people on the

Same path as you that you actually really get along with. The second thing I want to say is that you need to earn the chance to meet them properly. Let me explain. So in Dark Souls, there’s this guy named Solair and he’s standing looking at the sun. He’s waiting for someone like us to come chat with him. But in order to get to Solair, what do we need to do? We need to be able to get

From the bonfire past all the hollow enemies attacking from both above and below. And then we need to fight a boss, the Taurus demon. We need to learn to use the arena to our advantage and kill the two enemies above in the watchtowwer and then do a plunging attack on the big beast. We need to keep doing that and we need to be careful of our timing until finally we beat him. Then we can meet with Solair. So the point that I’m

Trying to make here is you need to level up your character. You need to practice getting better at the game. You might die a lot before you can finally succeed and meet with Solair, but then when you do, Solair can clearly tell you’re capable, and he wants to be your friend. What if we managed to find a super easy way to get to him instead of fighting anybody? He might still be our friend, but then he would low-key see us

Differently and less capable. He would just see us as someone who takes the easy way for everything, and he would probably still be looking for a better friend than us. You need to be the kind of person that people on the same path as you would actually want to be friends with. You might want them as a friend, but would they want you? And I know that sounds harsh, but just think about it for a second. Lick killed the

Firekeeper. Do we want him as a friend? Yes or no? No, we don’t. That was not a nice thing to do. And if that is how he behaves, then I don’t want him to be my friend. We don’t see things the same way. He’s not someone aligned with who we are, and he’s not someone I want to be in a relationship with. The same can be true for us. Maybe we do things, habits or behaviors that people see and

They think actually maybe I don’t want to be in a relationship with that person. And sometimes that’s just a personal preference. Sometimes it’s like I don’t like that person’s humor and I don’t like his philosophy. Nothing personal, just we’re incompatible. But sometimes it’s a responsibility to actually become better. Sometimes people might not want to be around us because they can see we take the easy way and we’re unreliable and we’re not confident in ourselves and we don’t try to make

Ourselves better and we just keep making self-deprecating jokes and we just do the same thing all the time. We’re predictable. Sometimes it is our fault that people don’t like us. But then again, sometimes it’s not. So, what am I trying to say with all this? We’ve talked about how we like the feeling of lots of people being at Firelink Shrine with us, but we also acknowledge that just because there’s a lot of people doesn’t mean they’re all good people for

Us. We start to realize that maybe everyone there doesn’t belong in our tribe. And with that logic applied, you start to see less and less people at Firelink Shrine. It might even be empty. Now, I want to ask you something. Are you okay being alone? Because there’s a difference between loneliness and solitude. Loneliness is being alone and feeling unwanted. Solitude is being alone on purpose and learning to enjoy your own company. If when you’re alone with yourself, you start to mock and put

Yourself down, then of course that’s not someone you would be comfortable with. And on top of that, it’s definitely not someone that other people would be comfortable with either. Someone can see the way you treat yourself and they think, “Will he treat me like that, too? Can I really be in a relationship with this person who hates himself?” It feels like you’re never on your own side. And imagine if someone in your life talked to you the same way that you talk to

Yourself in your head. Would you still want to be friends with them if they were as rude to you as you are to yourself? Probably not, right? So, this is like the prerequisite to dealing with loneliness, being okay alone. Nobody new is going to want to come into your life if they see that you don’t even like yourself. If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else? If you hate being alone

With yourself, you’ll let anyone in, even the wrong people, just to escape the loneliness. And that’s how you end up inviting someone like Lick into Firelink Shrine. We’ll just take anybody at this point. But your relationship with yourself sets the standard for all other relationships. If you chase butterflies, they’ll just fly away. But if instead you build a beautiful garden, then they’ll come to you. And even if no butterflies come, then at least you still have your beautiful garden. If

You’re lonely and you want to meet people and you want to have actually good relationships, then it is your responsibility to build that beautiful garden. Make yourself become someone who you’re happy to be alone with. You make yourself laugh. You take care of yourself and you’re nice to yourself even when things go wrong. You make the focus your relationship with yourself, which is the most important relationship you’ll ever build in this life. When you become the kind of person who doesn’t

Really need anyone else to have a good time, then people will naturally start to be magnetized to you because you already have all the fun inside of you. And even if they don’t like us, then who cares at that point? We like ourselves and that’s all that matters. So find your real actual tribe. Find the people that you would like to be around and who would like to be around you. People on the same path as you. You can join my

Community. You can join my free community and you can find lots of people who are probably on the similar path as you if you’re watching this video. So that’s all I have to say for today. If you like Dark Souls and self-improvement, join my community. Come talk to us. That’s what this video is about. Getting away from loneliness. Come build actual relationships. Start to talk to real people. And I know that online relationships are different than in-person relationships, but use my

Free community as a way to like begin talking to other people. Use it as a way to learn how to talk to people better, like have a genuine relationship. Because if you’re watching this video, maybe maybe you’ve never talked to people before. Maybe you’re not really experienced and you need to have that like virtual medium first before you can go and talk to other people. Use this as the starting point. Join my free community or if you don’t want to, then

That’s okay, too. No pressure. But it’s there. It’s going to be the link in the description if you want to check it out. I also have a course in my community that you can find. It’s how to genuinely fix your life explained with Dark Souls. That’s also going to be a link in the description. It’s just there if you want to check it out. All right, no pressure. I really hope that this video can help someone. You take care, guys. Okay,

Don’t you dare go hollow.