The Problem With Stoicism ► Explained With Dark Souls
The problem with stoicism is that nobody even knows what it is. You search for stoicism on YouTube and the first thing you see is become un-defeatable. People started thinking it means becoming this emotionless machine, never reacting, never feeling or caring, just this tough masculine guy. And honestly, I used to think this way, too. I thought being stoic meant becoming so strong that nothing affected you anymore. But what if I told you that this is not real stoicism? Stoicism
Isn’t supposed to be a prison, it’s supposed to be a way to live more freely. And weirdly enough, it was actually the game Dark Souls that taught me what true stoicism looks like, not just in the game, either, in real life. There’s this one character in the game and after I met him for the first time, my entire perspective of masculinity and stoicism changed. The problem with stoicism is that most people misunderstand it, but Hawkeye Gough
Shows us what it actually means. When you first meet Gough in Dark Souls, he’s imprisoned at the top of a tower in the ruined city of Oolacile. He used to be one of Lord Gwyn’s legendary four knights, feared as an unmatched giant archer who could shoot dragons straight out of the sky during the war against the dragons. But by the time we meet him, he’s completely removed from the glory and chaos he once lived through. Something interesting to
Notice about Gough is that he’s actually blind. He struggles to find his bow. Instead of aiming at his target with his eyes, he listens for it before shooting. But is he really blind or is it his helmet restricting his view? If we manage to get our hands on Gough’s helmet, the item description says that the eye holes were filled with tree resin by those who regarded him as a mere brute. Some person or a group of
People wanted to mess with him by blocking the eye holes on his helmet. But if this was the case, why didn’t he simply just remove his helmet? There are a lot of questions like this we can ask about Gough. Who even locked him up here in the first place and why? If he’s a prisoner locked in this place, why hasn’t he just climbed over the fence and jumped down? The drop is not that high, and he is a giant, after all.
I mean, come on. Look how high he jumps just to belly flop us when we attack him. He’s definitely not trapped here physically. And if he really is trapped here by the little cell door that needs a key, why didn’t he leave after we unlocked the door? It seems like he doesn’t actually want to leave. And despite everything, Gough doesn’t seem bitter, angry, or desperate. He speaks calmly, almost peacefully, with this strange sense of acceptance for
Where he is. He knows he’s blind and imprisoned, but he seems to accept everything, which leads us to the most important part about him. It doesn’t really matter all the specific details, when he was locked up, or why he was locked up, or who filled the eye holes in his helmet with resin. The more important thing is about what he teaches us, because Gough is a stoic. His eyes may work perfectly fine, but he chooses to wear the helmet stuffed with resin.
He lives by a philosophy of acceptance. When he’s locked in prison, he faces it stoically. He doesn’t try to escape. Instead, he finds freedom through carving. He finds a way to become free, regardless of where he is physically. Almost all other NPCs in the game have more freedom than Gough does, and yet they are more unhappy. The most unhappy NPC in the game is the one with the most choices, the Crestfallen Warrior. Even when we unlock his cell door, which
Would give any prisoner some hope of change, Gough simply continues carving, undisturbed. Gough accepts and flows with what life brings. I’m not trying to say that real stoicism is just being passive and letting everything happen to you, never taking any action. Real stoicism is about accepting what is outside of your control, while acting virtuously within what is under your control. And Gough actually does act when needed. He helps you shoot down black dragon Kalameet. He isn’t passive.
He simply isn’t emotionally enslaved by his circumstances. He’s just at peace with reality. And if it wasn’t enough evidence to see that he is choosing to accept his position in life and is not stuck here in a prison. If we want to purchase items from him, he sells us dung pies, wood carvings, and homeward bones. He is free to leave anytime he pleases, but he chooses to stay. It seems that he likes the calm that his imprisonment allowed
Him. He would rather stay here in peace carving gifts for passersby. Gough really is the embodiment of true stoicism. A warrior like him might use a weapon to display his emotions. We all know that it’s easier to shoot first, ask questions later. But Gough uses his words before anything else. He understands the importance of understanding. He even makes little carvings that convey little emotions like Hello. Thank you. Very good. It’s a better to be open and willing to
Communicate. That is the more masculine and strong and even tougher thing to do. That is stoicism. Before we make any final decisions whether he will help us fight the dragon or not. I have prepared to challenge great Kalameet. He makes sure that this is what we want to do. He checks with us. When we tell him our plans, he responds with kindness and wisdom. If we tell him we don’t want to fight the dragon, he says he agrees,
Calmly saying A wise choice. Why force thyself into the fire and move? If we choose to fight, he says
Good. What is bravery without a dash of recklessness? Each time his response open in case we change our minds. Yes. Surely that is best. And I feel like this is also another good teacher of what stoicism really is. Because for a lot of things in life, I feel like you need to care a lot and not care at all at the same time. We’ve all heard that philosophy of once you stop caring about it, then it comes to you, right?
But it’s frustrating because the thing that you want the most is the thing that you have to wait for and accept that maybe it won’t ever come. And it’s like these things that you want so bad, you have to kind of not care about them. You have to be kind of indifferent to them. And I think that’s why Gough can keep flowing with your changing mind. When you already say yes, help me fight the dragon, and then you change your
Mind, he’s fine with it because he can be totally ready for anything, any action or just to sit there like he was before. It doesn’t really matter what he does because he likes you. He cares about you and your mission and your well-being. And so he’s going to help you if you want him to, but he’s also kind of indifferent, you know? It’s only when you come to him and ask him explicitly, yes, please help me, then
He’ll oblige your request and actually help you. Otherwise, it’s okay. You can keep changing your mind. It doesn’t really matter to him. He doesn’t push us or correct us. Stoicism doesn’t always mean being the big tough guy and not caring about anything and shutting out your emotions. True stoicism is freedom through acceptance. Despite his isolation, blindness, imprisonment, and being judged as a brute, Gough still chooses gentleness. He focuses on what he can control rather than what he
Cannot and expresses himself when necessary. Hello. And also picks up his weapon when necessary because Gough is not chained by ego. He is free to become whatever the moment requires, a warrior, a friendly gentle giant, or a source of wisdom. A lot of people become obsessed with like the fake sigma male masculine version of stoicism that they see on YouTube shorts because they’ve been hurt to themselves. And they think that if they can just stop feeling anything
Entirely, then nothing can ever hurt them again. But clearly, that isn’t freedom. That’s fear disguised as strength. Being gentle does not make you any less of a man or less stoic. It shows that you’re able to do the harder thing. Let go of your ego and be willing to appear gentle to others, even if it doesn’t look like the cool thing to do. And again, I’m not saying that true stoicism is being gentle all the time.
It’s more about being able to be anything freely. You can be gentle and also be strong and masculine. If you believe that you’re trapped in a prison of being too feminine or not being masculine enough, then you will indeed be trapped. Or you can be like Gough, seemingly trapped in a prison, but actually far from it. True stoicism gives you the freedom to feel without being controlled by the feeling. Stop looking for reasons why you’re imperfect. You’re too much this or too
Much that or not enough that. And instead of focusing about all that stupid stuff, just be. Live honestly and virtuously, and don’t confine yourself to a prison of your own creation. Be free. Accept what you cannot and seek understanding, both of yourself and of others. And most importantly, be safe, friend. Don’t you dare go hollow. If you like Dark Souls and self-improvement, you can join my free community. It’s just going to be the link in the description. I also have a
Course called how to genuinely fix your life explained with Dark Souls. So, if that sounds interesting to you, then that’s also going to be a link in the description. If you watch this video all the way through, then I would highly suggest checking out my community and the course because I think that you’re really going to like it. I mean, we’re almost at a thousand members in my community. People seem to be liking it. But, if you don’t want to,
Then absolutely no pressure. Just if it sounds interesting to you, then check it out. I just hope this video can help someone in some way. Farewell, human. I await good tidings. >>