Why You Can’t Stop Edging ► Explained With Dark Souls

It’s the beginning of the school year and you see a really pretty girl on the first day, but you don’t talk to her because you’re shy and you have the whole rest of the year to do it. Then it’s the last day of school and you see her walking away and you know you’ll never see her again. You were edging the experience. I’ve been that guy before who missed his chance. I know what it’s like. Not just for girls, but

For anything. I was literally edging myself. But Dark Souls made me realize not just how to stop edging myself, but also why I was doing it to myself. When I say edging, I mean being on the verge of something, wanting to do something, about to do something, but not doing it. Why would you not just do it? It’s not just a sexual thing. You can edge everything in your life. Eating food, doing your laundry, studying, even like

Picking a game from your Steam library. But why don’t you just pick a game to play? Why don’t you just do it already? Why would you not just do it? In Dark Souls 1, there’s this character named Siemire of Katarina. When you first meet him, he’s sitting outside a gate. He’s sitting there not doing anything because the gate is blocking his way. It’s only when you go out into the world and ring the bells of awakening that the giant gate opens and

Then he can go. Then he can proceed. This same kind of trend keeps happening every time you meet him. He’s stuck. You do it for him and then he can proceed. But the interesting thing is that as you keep doing things for him, he starts to lose his dignity. You kill monsters instead of letting him do it, and he seems almost agitated that you didn’t let him do it. But if our character in the game could speak, I

Would want to ask Sigmire like, why didn’t you do it then? Why did you wait until it was already too late? Why were you why were you edging me? And that’s actually the same question that I want to ask you that I want to ask us. Why did you wait until it was too late? Nothing was stopping you the whole time except for yourself. But then after the opportunity is gone and you already missed it, then you get agitated, right?

I understand you wanted it to be yours, but the way you carry yourself makes me think you didn’t care about it at all. Siem was sitting outside napping. Does he want to get inside the gate or is this just his favorite napping spot? For us and for me too, you wanted to talk to that girl. Sure. But when you try to act all nonchalant in front of her and pretend like you don’t even you don’t even consider her existence. Imagine

What message that’s conveying to the world around you. It kind of looks like you don’t care, right? It kind of looks like you don’t actually care about her at all. You clearly did care, right? I know that maybe I’ve hit a little bit close to home for this one. I know I still I feel it, too. But now I want to tell you actually what Dark Souls taught me. how to fix it. I also talk about

This kind of stuff more in my community. Uh the link is in the description if you want to join. What was the difference between us as the player and Sigmire? Did we care more about opening the gate? Maybe not. I think we both wanted to open it. I think the main and only difference was that while Siege pers, we have embodied wisdom. We already know that normal intellectual wisdom is like thinking about stuff in your head, doing

Calculations, planning. Embodied wisdom is when you learn through doing. I think of it like intellectual wisdom is before doing and then embodied wisdom is as you are doing. Whatever you learn while you do something then stays with you and it allows you to actually add it to your intellectual wisdom later for planning. I think that even on a human evolutionary level, you need both of these kinds of wisdom to survive. The Japanese philosopher Yukio Mishima even

Says like thinking too much and not doing enough will kind of drive you crazy. The body through its movement through doing something carries its own kind of wisdom. You learn by doing. It’s embodied wisdom. When you exercise your body, it’s like you’re giving your body what it needs to feel good. What makes the body feel good is undeniable and clear. Drinking lots of water and eating healthy food and exercising your body will make you feel overall good. If

You ate only junk food, then you feel bad. If you stay in your room all day scrolling, you feel bad, right? We know this. So, the point I’m trying to make with all of this, why can’t you stop edging everything in your life? It’s because you need to do less of the thinking part and more of the doing part. I know this sounds difficult, right? But like in Dark Souls, how did we know how to open the gate? We were

Only ever told that there were two bells we need to ring. One above and one below. We don’t actually know where they are, though. We needed to go find them. If you’re like me, you kind of didn’t know what you were doing at all. You just kind of explored and kept moving forward and somehow, wow, I I found the bell here. Wow. The second bell was way down here. Oh my god. Wow. Our plan wasn’t perfect, but we still figured it

Out, right? Semire sat there and he didn’t even try. Now, think about that girl that you wanted to talk to. You might be stuck thinking like, “What am I even going to say?” She’s probably just going to think I’m stupid when I talk to her anyway. I’m probably going to stumble over my words. I always do that. But how are you going to know if any of that stuff is going to happen if you don’t just try it? Part of talking to

Girls, too, is like the same embodied wisdom that I was talking about before? Because how are you ever going to know how to talk to a pretty girl if you don’t start trying to just give it a shot? Be willing to look like an idiot. You probably act like a goofball idiot on purpose with your friends, don’t you? You’re willing to look stupid then. You just have to go up and without any plan, say something. I would start with, “Hi,

My name is blank.” The reason why you can’t stop edging your life is because you think too damn much. You’d be more productive to go stand up and talk to her. Stand up and go look for a way to open the gate. Even with actual edging, like, you know, watching adult videos, why do we do it? It’s like you’re almost there, like pretty much there, but you don’t want to do it because it feels good and you want to stay in that state

Of feeling good for longer. But when you do that, you’re not giving yourself the actual release so that you can just carry on with your day already. And you’re just wasting time. To me, someone who does that does not have anything else better to do with their time because how can you afford to sit there for hours gooning and not just get it over with already? And the thing is, maybe it feels good to edge not talking

To the girl. It feels like it’s such a rush, like kind of exciting to have a crush. Action kills the fantasy. As long as you’re about to, you can still imagine the perfect outcome. The moment you act, the old you dies. The perfect version of you in your head dies. And that’s scary. So, you keep yourself on the edge. But what are we doing here, man? Do you want the girl or not? If you want the girl, get up and say something.

If you actually just like edging yourself and being alone and not giving yourself what you want, at least admit that to yourself. At least you know why you are the way you are. But you just got to get up and move. Whatever it is that maybe you’re afraid to do. I think you got to not think about it and let your feet just step forward one step at a time. Otherwise, we would never have been the hero of Dark Souls. Be willing

To play the fool. When you try something for the first time and you’re scared, it’s actually you training yourself to be better at the thing, to not be scared next time. So even if you get rejected or fail, it was part of the process. It’s not separate from it. It’s part of it. Whenever you feel that feeling of like, oh man, I don’t want to do this, that is your sign to turn your brain off and actually just breathe deeply

So that you can go ahead and go do the thing you know you should do. Even if you’re scared, it’s okay to be scared. But bravery isn’t having no fear. It’s having fear, but going and doing it anyway. That’s how you grow as a person to be the kind of person that you want to be. And that’s how you stop edging your life. Your actionable step I want you to do from this video is when you get that feeling

Of fear in your stomach, breathe in a deep breath as deep as you can and just move forward and go do it anyway. If you wanted to talk to that girl, make today be the day. No more excuses. Go and get what’s yours. And if it doesn’t go like how you planned or wanted it to. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. You got a little embodied intelligence from this experience. You can use it going forward. Now, don’t wait for someone

Else to open the gate. Even if you fail, that’s your failure. That’s your dignity. That’s the difference between hollowess and becoming the hero. If you like Dark Souls and self-improvement, I’ve actually started a new community that you can join with the link in the description. But I actually want you to join because I need your help. I need you to tell me what is bothering you so that we can actually make something valuable. Like I want to make a course.

I want to make something valuable that people can like not just people who like Dark Souls, but like anybody can look at and use it as like a guide, you know, as like reminders. It’s like I want to make something valuable, you know. Miiamoto Mashi has his uh Duro, you know, uh 21 rules for life. I want to make something like that. I want to make something that’s like you can look back at and that’s timeless, you know, but I want to

Make it with Dark Souls and I want to make it with you guys, too. So, if you’re interested, please join. I need your help. I need your help to make this. I hope this video helps, guys. Don’t you dare go hollow. Okay.