You Fell Off…Now what?

What’s going on guys I hope you’re all doing well um I just wanted to talk today you know I just wanted to talk I don’t have a lot of videos on my channel of just me talking you know and I figured because um I’ve been trying to do this reflection sort of deal like on a weekly basis I’m trying to write down the stuff that I think about every day at the end of the day and and uh I didn’t do that

Last week not even one time not even this week actually but like I’ve been internalizing like I’ve been trying to the point of the reflections is to see where I’m going wrong what I’m doing good how I can improve I’m actually not wearing pants right now uh that’s my choice uh I was trying on some pants and they were too tight on me so figured I would rather just sit here not for the recording but I would just sit here in

My underwear instead of put pants back on so here I am uh I want to talk about last week just really quick because I have to get going kind of soon here on Monday I don’t remember which day it was Monday last week from this week like last last Monday you know you know what I mean not Monday this week the last one I felt like man it’s because um it’s not because of this girl it’s

Not because of her it’s because of me and the way that I was thinking about things because I just get um paranoid I guess I was um what even happened I I was talking to her the night before and things were going good and then I saw her the next morning in class and I just felt like excluded you know I was wondering to myself all day like am I addicted to this girl is this an

Addiction like do I need to take a break or something but I realized later no I don’t think I’m addicted because I can do my own and be fine you know I can do this I can sit down and do my homework for school and like be fine you know I can I can go into deep focus mode you know still even still now like even though I’ve been kind of lacking I can still like go into my focus mode without

Having like a phone as a distraction just like not paying attention to that I can get into something and I’m not constantly thinking about her I’m not thinking that oh I wish I was talking to her with her or something instead I don’t think like that so I’m not addicted I don’t think I’m addicted but just uh what I was trying to say was I felt so bad on Monday because I think just the way that things seemed

Unresolved like um I was sad because I felt like when I showed up to class I didn’t talk to anybody you know I felt like excluded even from my friends you know everybody was sitting in the same row I it was just me being like a silent Weirdo And I remember always you I always used to feel that way in like high school and stuff and I thought I was over that but I I came back to it

For whatever reason and I felt worse because of it the rest of the week you know like that Monday was pretty bad for me like I couldn’t think about anything else except for like is it me is it her like I don’t know what to do I don’t know how to feel better about this I don’t always need to feel good about something but I feel like subpar right now you know the whole rest of the week was like

You know I’ve been trying my best to uh I’ve been trying my best to see which things I can improve on you know making sure to um think about the night before like okay how can I optimize my next day you know what am I going to do first thing as soon as I wake up I’ve been doing that still and I think I’ve been getting better at that better at optimizing my time still there are some things that I

Miss sometimes you know I could always be doing better I’m trying to do better but that’s not what this video is about that what I wanted it to be about because I’m still just trying to do that stuff what I wanted to do what I wanted to make this video about is because W okay that whole week and this week too I’ve been trying to just get better at um having a ready Insight you know uh

I think the word there’s a word perspicacity perspicacity is like ready Insight so what does that mean you have um the ability to kind of like feel things out you know you kind of see things coming before they even arrive and then you can act accordingly before they even arrive you know you’re like you know how to deal with stuff better than most people I’m not saying I do I’m saying I’m trying to develop that skill

Of mine and I think I have been getting better at it anyway I’m getting away from the point again um the whole rest of the week that last week that bad Monday starter I I was kind of slowly coming to the conclusion

That I I feel like I’m losing the edge on my sword you know I I went to a boxing class last week on Friday so that was a cool way to end off the week you know the week definitely got a lot better than uh that Monday starter but something that the guy there kept telling me was that my my footing was not like planted in the ground you know like I would uh I would punch the bag

And then I’ll like back off like I I felt like almost like um like prey you know like I don’t feel like a predator I feel like oh oh you know punch that’s what I felt like and so I think um I need to work on my footing more I need to work on keeping my short my sword sharp my sword sharp I need to keep focusing on that I need to not um make unimportant things on make

Unimportant things important you know give them too much importance that’s what Mamu Musashi says in uh where did he say that in in doodo his 21 rules for life he

Says he says do not do anything that is of no importance and yeah that’s easier said than done to be honest with you but um I kind of see what he means here because if I get wound up thinking about the that’s not important then I can’t even see the stuff that was actually important to me anymore you know cuz I’m getting so caught up in whatever because I lost my footing you know I’m not planted in the ground like

I should be because if I was planted in the ground if I was more focused on on what’s important to me then oh I wonder if they like me still sounds like a man sounds like a when I say that even now like I I’m glad that I realized this at least that um you know I just I think I need to work on my footing more I think uh even if I hit a good strike even okay

Like in like a sparring session for example I’ve never sparred before I’ve never fought anybody but I imagine in like a sparring situation imagine it’s me and you right and then imagine I hit one good punch on you I hit you right on the chin and then you’re like oh I don’t after that I know I know we’re good friends you know like I don’t want to hurt you or anything I don’t want you to hurt me but um if I hit a

Good punch on you if I wanted to actually win the fight I can’t just uh hit the good punch and then be like oh sorry sorry and then kind of be like submissive after that you know you land the punch and then you stay planted and you keep chipping away you know what is that what is that guy’s name Gary V I don’t remember how to say van vanderchuck or something vanderland he says um jab jab jab jab jab right hook

You know you hit all the Jabs and then right hook because you need to keep chipping away at it you know you can’t take your foot off the gas and 30 seconds if you do not complete this challenge the room will fill with a toxic gas I think that’s all I have to say for today that was my summary of the last week in place of um writing everything down daily I feel like I don’t

Know maybe it’s a problem with my discipline you know maybe I need to keep working on that but especially with school going on I don’t know if it’s going to be sustainable anyway but yeah maybe I do kind of want to do these uh things where I just talk at the camera more where I don’t really because usually I have a script or usually I just read what I wrote from the week you know I don’t improvise anything what do you

Think of my improvisation is it pretty hilarious could I do standup should I do standup guys let me know Down Below in the place where the comments go okay so yeah ideally what would be cool is I make a video like this every single day and then compile it into one at the end of the week but I don’t think that I could do that you know I I have I have to prioritize school first and then just the way that

The schedule works out like maybe I’m being a about it maybe I could totally do it but you know okay I’ll work on it all right we’ll see what happens I don’t want to completely put that idea off the table yet because it does sound like a good idea that’s that was my original idea but I had to settle for an alternative anyway thanks for listening to me whoever listened today whoever’s listening take care guys